The Serious Case of Mula Bandha Face (MBF)

It's no laughing matter. For those of you who are reading the words mula bandha (moo-luh bahn-duh) for the first time, please hang in there. At least for a few more sentences. Trust me when I tell you that no one who does yoga really even knows how to tell people who don't do yoga what mula bhanda is. I'm convinced.

This is not to say it's some big yogic secret reserved for an enlightened flexible few. It's just that there is honestly no elegant way to describe the inner workings of the mysterious mula to anyone without sounding like a potty mouthed pervert. Because to engage mula bandha, when all is said and done, means: to contract one's anal sphincter muscles. That's right, folks. Repeat after me: anal sphincter muscles.

Kinda gross, right?

Suddenly the initial awkwardness of learning the phrase mula bandha seems worth conquering when "contract your anal sphincter" is the alternative.

Now, sanskritly (totally not a word) speaking, mula means "root" and bandha means "lock". So, I will leave you to do the math as it relates to the instruction to contract...that muscle that begins with the letter "s". (I just can't bear to type it again.) Here's the problem: while this mula bandha business is really good for all kinds of things like balance and breath and alignment, it can also make you look, if you're working really hard, like a type-A, undersexed, underpaid, overworked, possibly constipated, yoga-achiever, shall we say. Picture that baby's expression on an adult who is doin the yoga, and there you have Mula Bandha Face (MBF).

So, while there are plenty of reasons to incorporate mula bandha into your practice, my feeling is that the instruction "Engage Mula Bandha!" should really be followed with, "But beware of Mula Bandha Face". It's kind of like when your mother told you when you were eight or so, never to cross your eyes or they'd stay that way for life. Same risk factor with MBF. Cause I've definitely seen my fair share of folks whose faces have frozen this way.

I suppose its only natural to loose one's tranquil "serenity now" visage when concentrating on contracting that muscle. But it bears mentioning that minding your mula can make for some serious, strained and scrunched up faces, which can't be good for the spirit, let alone the skin. And if you've ever noticed, a facial expression, contrived or not, can often have a direct correlation with the way your feel. You've heard shrinks say, or perhaps you've read it in a Readers Digest at the dentist's office, that if you keep smiling, eventually you'll start to feel happy. We'll, I am proposing that the same line of reasoning applies with MBF, that beloved expression of constipated concentration. Make MBF long enough, and you'll start to feel mentally, if not physically, clogged.

MBF: it happens to the best of us, but there is help. So, the next time you're inclined to monkey around with you mula, just try to soften your expression, smirk a little, and be mindful of your MBF. Besides, you never know where the yogarazzi might be lurking. And the last thing the commercial yoga world needs are more pictures of serious people doing serious yoga. Seriously.

For an unpretentious explanation of mula bandha, perfect for the yoga nerd in you, check out this article in Yoga Journal by David Life. (BTW, does anyone believe that's his real last name?) Anyway, read on: http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/217